5 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic
Imagine if you had a friend that was ALWAYS critical about everything you did.
This friend CRITICIZES everything you do. They’re always telling you all kinds of negative stuff...
You’re too fat.
You’re too skinny.
You talk too much.
You don’t talk enough.
You can’t do that!
You’re doing that?!?
She makes you lose confidence right before a really important meeting. She points out all your flaws and asks you why you’re even attempting to do great things and you can’t even do one thing properly. If you had a friend like that you would get rid of that person right?
We would never talk to our family, friends, partners, children, neighbors, heck even a perfect stranger in that manner. Nor would we accept this sort of criticism from our friends. So why do we find it acceptable to do it to ourselves?
This type of negative self-talk can be damaging to your self-confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem. The negative self-talk will sabotage your success if you let it. Being able to get past the inner critic is essential if you want to grow your business (or do anything else that requires a risk in your life). It’s tough. But it’s also a skill that can be learned.
Keep reading for 5 ways to silence your inner critic and succeed at business, at work, in life.
You see... The goal of our Inner Critic is to keep us safe. Our Inner Critic forces her way into our thoughts. She comes in and replaces excitement with doubt and confidence with fear.
While the inner critic can be helpful in some instances - like jumping off a bridge with no bungee cord, running around with scissors, or buying that dress that you *know* isn’t flattering, 99% of our decisions are not life-threatening.
As a result, our Inner Critic holds us back from reaching our fullest potential. In order to overcome your inner critic, we have to put this chick in her place and tell her who’s boss.
The first step to silencing that inner critic is to recognize when it’s talking.
Who is the inner critic? Believe it or not, you were not born with one inside your head. This is a voice from a formative period in your life. It could be your mom, a teacher, a romantic partner or a boss. They said something that stuck with you and has now become the voice of all things negative in your head.
What you need to understand is that the criticism you got for talking too much when you were in grade 3 is NOT relevant or accurate today. Today, your voice DOES matter. The memory of Mrs. Smith telling you to pipe down in grade 3 has nothing to do with asking for what you need on the job or in a relationship. Recognize the voice of your inner critic and Marie Kondo that shit. Thank them for their service and tell that voice to BE GONE.
The 2nd step to silencing that inner critic Separate yourself from her
Instead of setting a goal and then telling yourself “that’s not even achievable. How dumb of you for even thinking it”, you can Separate yourself from the Inner Critic.
You do this by recognizing that these limiting statements are being said by your inner critic rather than something you’re saying to yourself.
When you make inner critic a separate person, they sound ridiculous right? Just like if someone had said that to you, you can think that they are entitled to their opinion. But like everyone else, they can just keep their thoughts to themselves.
If you need help separating the inner critic, give it a name. I’m going to name mine KAREN. Separate yourself by saying KAREN SAID “that’s not even achievable” and then tell Karen to shut the hell up!
The 3rd step to silencing that inner critic is to make friends with Karen!
Karen’s goal is to protect you from harm. Without Karen to keep us safe, we would be running with scissors, jumping off cliffs, and getting into relationships and situations we know we shouldn’t be in.
Unfortunately, Karen - the inner critic, doesn’t know the difference between real danger, and what is safe but feels scary like public speaking or starting a business.
Acknowledge that your inner critic has good intentions, she always does but you’ve got to let Karen know that you have things under control and you’re the boss.
The 4th step to silencing Karen is to Question her
One of the biggest mistakes we make is that we assume that everything our inner critic says is true. Most of the time, it’s FAKE NEWS, Karen.
Let’s say you have a fear of public speaking. The likelihood of you tripping up the stairs in your heels, tumbling into the speakers, then falling off the stage and displaying all your goods to the audience before being wheeled out on a stretcher is NOT LIKELY.
Sometimes, you have to second guess and question what Karen is saying for accuracy.
The 5th and final step to silencing that inner critic is to Just say no.
Once you can recognize your inner critic, you can choose not to listen to her. Just like that. Just as you would cut off a nasty friend who would say this stuff out loud to you, you can psychologically brush away your Inner Critic.
So there you have it!
The 5 ways to silence your inner critic:
Recognizing their voice
Separating the voice
Becoming buddies with the voice
Questioning the voice
Saying NO to the voice
Stop buying into the awful statements and letting them thrive in your mind. Tell your inner critic to take a chill pill and I guarantee you will succeed at business, at work, and at life.